My thoughts
Anxiety and depression are not always a brain chemistry issue but rather simply your mind's way of telling you that something is not quite right in your life.
Maybe you haven't overcome a challenging life event and moved on, feel lost about who you are or what you stand for, are stuck in behaviours or communication patterns that erode your right to high self-esteem, are frequently disappointed by the high expectations you have of others, or feelings of apathy and disinterest have set into your life and you are struggling to get moving and make progress once again in a positive direction.
You might also simply need a safe, nonjudgmental ear outside of your social circles to talk to about a current or past situation that is upsetting you and that's okay, too.
Sincerely, Pinar
My Specialties
Trauma & Loss
I have yet to come across a single person who hasn't experienced an unpleasant event in their lifetime that has shaken them to the core.
One thing is sure: while the types of experiences may vary from individual to individual, at the crux of it, there is always a profound feeling of loss, and all are equally valid irrespective of the severity of the loss.
A loss of peace, of someone or something we valued greatly or a loss of who we once were (or could have been) before the traumatic experience occurred.
Yet many brave souls in humanity's long and chaotic history, who, too, have experienced terrible things and been robbed of their peace of mind, have found ways of transforming those intense and unpleasant feelings into a new future full of possibility and potential.
And you, too, can do the same.
Peaceful Families
While we have expectations of what a perfect family should look like—unconditional love, understanding, and support due to shared lineage and history with no biases or favouritism, criticism, conflicts, or complaints—our expectations seldom match reality.
Such feelings amplify when what we experience in our families is dissimilar to other families around us, sometimes caused by a clash of cultures (Western children of Eastern parents for example), harmful parenting styles such as authoritarian and controlling or permissive and disinterested or simply more loving and supportive parenting examples that we wish we had - causing even further resentments.
Rather than expecting other members of your family to bend to your will and change to meet your expectations (no doubt you have tried this and it clearly doesn't work), by focusing on yourself and taking an active role in your own personal development, you can create the relationships and family dynamics of your dreams.
Identity Creation
It's not uncommon to grow up without the privilege of a positive role model to learn from and emulate—if that's you, don't despair—you are not alone.
However, we all need a clear sense of who we are—what we stand for, our values and beliefs, and an appreciation of our unique personal history—to confidently move forward toward our life's plans and aspirations.
Without a strong sense of identity, we may find ourselves forever seeking validation from others, finding it hard to move forward after a negative life experience, and lead others who rely on us for guidance and support.
The process of thoughtful identity creation will provide you with an immense sense of relief, excitement, happiness and confidence and allow you to make decisions and take action unlike ever before.
Social Harmony
All social interactions are a type of dance between two people, and given how tricky it is to dance beautifully, to begin with, it's no wonder every single human on the planet has their fair share of "people problems" on their journey through life.
Problems happen when parties dancing misread each other's steps or we unconsciously choose to dance with those with whom the dynamics feel familiar but not in a positive way.
One party may be ready to dance the waltz with someone who is more of a slow dancer, or we may get stuck engaging in a long dance with someone with whom a short dance was enough.
Once you adopt a new way of dancing with others and genuinely value yourself as a fantastic dance partner, you will find it a much more enjoyable experience with fewer toe-stepping, wrong moves, and abandoned dances.
Personal Freedom
It's human to want to be liked and worry about how others perceive us.
On any given day, we try not to upset others in a thousand different ways—by not asking essential questions we are entitled to ask, answering intrusive questions, curbing our ambitions, letting others interfere with our plans, not sharing our wins, oversharing our problems, not correcting incorrect statements, being overly helpful that isn't returned or warranted, and validating others' choices over our own—to name just a few!
What might start as mindful, polite, and considerate behaviour on our part can quickly turn into feeling oppressed, censored, and taken advantage of, amplifying one's negative emotions at the expense of sparing theirs.
However, by doing this, you have effectively taken on the responsibility of others, except their thoughts and feelings are their job to manage, not yours.
Focus & Attention
You don't necessarily have ADHD.
Nor are you lazy, useless, stupid or have a "bad attitude" like society would like you to believe if you feel you are falling behind.
Instead, you may be in a season of life that we all go through at some point, marked by apathy, fatigue, and disinterest.
It could be due to sickness or hormonal changes, or you may be exhausted from living up to society's expectations and need a break like a long-distance runner who has run out of steam.
However, when you stop running, it can sure be hard to start again.
A short break could turn into an extended one, and confusion may set in about what to do next. In the absence of a lion chasing us (you would be surprised what that can do), starting again can be difficult.
However, you don't necessarily need a hit of hard-core street drugs (with all their awful side effects), but simply someone to help you re-design your environment to inspire productivity once again.